★ Ein Seiger ist Sie ★

tupacabra:

babies cry because they know how much debt they’re going to be in once they graduate from college

edwad:

*phone rings*
“hello”
“hi! is your refrigerator running”
“yes it is”
“mine is as well! can’t wait to see your fridge at the race tomorrow”

mellarkish:

You know those people that are so pretty that even when they make a weird face as a joke they’re still attractive and

oldprickbitches:

Omfg I was sitting in a room with a bunch of my aunts, uncles and cousins and my grandma had this weird smile on her face so I asked her what was up and she just looked at me and said “everyone in this house is alive thanks to my vagina”

robertoluongo:

in grade 8 i did a power point presentation on “whooping cough” and my opening slide was a photo of whoopi goldberg coughing and i was the only person who laughed at it and i couldnt start the presentation for like five minutes because i was laughing too hard at my own joke

quazza:

i am reminded that english is a flawed language every time I am forced to use “that that” in a sentence

oy-of-midworld:

frankenlobo:

nekosey:

THOSE ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) POSTS ARE SO CONFUSING BECAUSE I’LL READ IT AND THERE’S JUST A BLANK SPACE IN MY THOUGHT VOICE WHENEVER A ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) SHOWS UP

My computer has this “read out loud” ability and the other day I made it read ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) outloud.

it said “deg deg”

so now that’s what I hear when I see  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

‘deg deg’

that’s what it’s called now

a deg deg

katara:

earthnation:

earthnation:

what did one cell say to his sister cell that stepped on his toe

mitosis

i want to die 

miucciapet:

i only care about inner beauty

like bone structure